Confessions of a Reformed Marching Band Geek

They’re SEWING badges for crying out loud!

Mr Grumpy and I are wanna be political junkies. We walk our precinct, work the booth at the county fair, and walk in parades as we can. Labor Day weekend we walked with a congressional candidate in a local parade. For some reason they had us park about a mile and a half (OK maybe not quite that far, but it sure felt like it) from the start and the finish line was about three miles from where we parked (not the world’s best planning. At least there was a shuttle…if you walked the half mile to that. We got our work out that day for certain!). As a bonus there was an art festival and junk food at the end. Mr Grumpy was happy about the food. Not so much about the art fair (he did let me run through, but I knew I was already on borrowed time).

While walking to the start we came upon some Girl Scouts. Being a former Girl Scout I took the extra time we had to get where we were going to check out the badges and patches on the girls’ vests (we had sashes. These vests look SO MUCH less annoying). As I’m looking, I notice that the first girl had her badge s stapled on. When I looked closer I saw she “earned” her sewing badge. And it was STAPLED on. A SEWING BADGE! I was disturbed, made a comment under my breath to Mr Grumpy (who was already annoyed that I signed him up for yet another parade so he ignored me), and kept walking. I saw some more scouts ahead so I kind of stalked them for a while trying to get a glimpse of their badges and THEY WERE STAPLED TOO! The shame! The injustice!

I mentioned it to my congressman. He said he’d see what he could do about it and then promptly lost the election (OK, like two months later, but you get the idea). So. Not. Helpful.

Juliette Low is rolling over in her grave!

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Novels, Bibles, and Thrift Stores

I feel I need to start this post with a nerd alert. There’s going to be some seriously nerdy stuff later. You’ve been warned!

I LOVE thrifting. It’s not that I’m cheap (OK. It’s TOTALLY because I’m cheap), I just LOVE a good bargain. Last week I had a few minutes between clients so I stopped in at a giant thrift store which my friends have been talking about. I wandered the aisles looking for treasures. When I got to the book section I took a little extra time to see if there were some fabulous reads for me to take home. I drifted to religion/spirituality and found this book (note-this is where the nerd part really begins):

This novel was tucked in between several copies of the Bible. It kind of made me snicker because this is NOT a religious or spiritual text. While it is about a minister and his missionary work in Africa I don’t really think it belongs under religion and CERTAINLY not with the Bibles. I’m not saying that their staff is not literate, but it CLEARLY states “a novel” under the title. Some people just don’t pay attention!

OK. Nerd moment over. If you haven’t read The Poisonwood Bible I’d recommend it. It was a little slow at the beginning but it really is a good book.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Again, I may have been a little premature in my statement of being a reformed geek….

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Why I DON’T watch sports

When Mr Grumpy and I first met I told him I wasn’t really in to sports. I’m not really. I couldn’t tell you what is going on. I couldn’t tell you where teams have moved to or who has changed their name. I couldn’t tell you who is playing today or what their record might be; except for yesterday.

Mr Grumpy and I both grew up in Ohio. I don’t know about where you live, but in Ohio it’s practically a state law that people back the Buckeyes. You’ll see people wearing Ohio State shirts, hats, jackets, etc. all year round. A good chunk of them never went there. Mr Grumpy and I fall into that category. We went to Ohio University (smaller, hillier, and more drinking. Not that I would know anything about the drinking, but I can say that OU was the number one party school for quite a few years. I’m pretty sure they’re still in the top five. Sadly I was too busy being a starving grad student to know anything about that. Mr Grumpy, on the other hand, may have plenty to share. If he could just remember).

Anyway, back to football. So yesterday was THE game. The ONLY game we generally care about during the year. Well, maybe along with the Super Bowl, but we don’t have a horse in the race there. Yesterday was Ohio State vs. Michigan. It is a HUGE rivalry. There are billboards about it,


you name it, someone has probably thought about it. It’s pretty intense. My sister married someone from Michigan. She worked very hard to have my nephew’s first words be “Go Buckeyes”. They recently moved to Ann Arbor. We promptly told her that if she became a Michigan fan we’d throw her out of the family (OK I don’t think we’d throw her out for that. Other things, maybe, but not necessarily that. Not talk to her, quite possibly, but throw her out-probably not).

Sooooo, yesterday was THE game. We zipped home from a race I had in the morning to make sure we could watch. I, being the giant multi-tasker that I am, decided to “watch” while grading some assignments from my students. Mr Grumpy made it sound like he was watching but he was really taking a nap. Well, I should say that he was trying to take a nap because I kept yelling at people on the screen (and obviously not getting much grading done). “You can’t grab a guy by the mask and get away with it!” “What do you mean that might not count?!” “Run, run, run!” You get the idea.

Sports get WAY too intense for me. The World Series-if the Indians are playing I have to stop watching because I’m pretty sure we’ll have to get a new TV or a divorce (luckily or unluckily for us that doesn’t happen very often). Football-well, it’s only about Ohio State. Basketball- Ohio University was in March Madness this year. We never thought it would happen. We cleared our schedules to watch and when they made it to the Sweet 16 I thought I was going to pass out from the excitement. Luckily (or unluckily) they didn’t go further. I think I’d need a few days off to recover if they’d made it to the Final Four!

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. I just don’t LIKE being so crazy in my emotions. Maybe I should just get back to HGTV. It makes Mr Grumpy crazy, but at least I’m not screaming at people all day. He could take a nap!

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Jump Around Turkeys!

In a weekend of over eating and craziness I tend to register for a few races to give me permission to eat more pie. This weekend started with the Run4Pie. Seriously. 3.14 miles and a pumpkin pie at the finish line. I, of course, didn’t read the directions on the pie until it was too late and it ended up being a soupy mess which I slid into the oven for it to become a singed mess later. With enough whipped cream you’d never notice (or at least that’s what I keep telling Mr Grumpy).

Anyway, back to the race. This race cracks me up because it is full of pie puns. The planners are either drinking while putting this race together or are seriously sleep deprived. There’s whipped cream shooters at mile three (to give you enough energy for that last .14 mile. Or to throw-up which what would be the case for me. I DIDN’T throw-up, but I would have if I tried to eat something so sweet while running.), live turkeys at the finish line (which did NOT look happy), and crazy people out to run on Thanksgiving morning. I’m seriously thinking that if they released those turkeys we’d all have run faster, or we’d all run faster to try to catch them, or…nevermind that would just be mayhem and possibly a health hazard.

In the spirit of a holiday “fun run” I decided that I needed to dress for the occasion. I found this awesome hat in October just for this weekend:

Today was the Schaumburg Turkey Trot. The turkey (the one on my hat, not the live ones) made his way out again (although today I pinned him to my hat. No more messing with the turkey while running). Mr Grumpy decided to go with me (he doesn’t run, but holds my stuff) and was being, well, grumpy. I wanted to up my game so I added one of these puppies to my “fun run” attire.

These “gobble” when you shake them. Slow runners in front of me: GOBBLE! Walkers who start too far in the front of the pack and won’t move over: GOBBLE! Adolescents handing you water saying “great job” when your lungs feel like they are going to fly out of your chest in frozen blocks of goo: GOBBLE! People complementing you on your hat: GOBBLE! Friends who pick on your hat: GOBBLE! Well, you get the idea.

Of course Mr Grumpy could not believe I was wearing the hat OR taking the gobbler (he so doesn’t get it). On the way to the race (with a little side trip for coffee and a sandwich) he put on Jump Around to which I added a gobble gobble at the end of each phrase. Good thing we waited until after for the coffee or it would have been sprayed on my dashboard. Always good to make the grumpmeister laugh!

Jump Around Turkeys!

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The Princess Bride…and Sasquatch?

AMC had the Princess Bride on when I  got home from work today. Score! I’ve only watched this movie about a billion times. Of course, the book is better (I’ve read it far less frequently, but I do have my favorite parts underlined and tabbed. Maybe reformed geek was a little presumptuous of me) but the movie is pretty awesome too.

I’m happily munching on snacks (of course we’re going to eat dinner, but Mr Grumpy wasn’t home yet and I’m hungry) and quoting lines before the actors get to them. As you sit in judgement of me, search yourself and see how many times you yell “hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die” and get back to me. I haven’t seen it in a while, but it’s funny how the lines come back. It’s like falling off a bike, or college flashbacks.

ANYWAY, Mr Grumpy walks in, looks at what I’m watching, and doesn’t immediately ask for the remote to see if something interesting is on (seriously, I watch interesting stuff. He just doesn’t appreciate HGTV like I do. When I get my dream job and we have to move he’ll TOTALLY appreciate all of the time I’ve spent watching House Hunters) so I’m taking it as a win.

I get out dinner (sushi. From Sam’s. Stop judging). Mr Grumpy gets something to drink and announces that Andre the Giant played a Sasquatch on the Six Million Dollar Man. The man is obsessed. Big Foot Hunters, Looking for Big Foot, Who Wants to Marry a Big Foot, he’ll watch them all AND try to convince me that Big Foot is real. Come on! (OK, I just asked him to confirm his statement and he went on a several minute description of the episode and Andre’s role. Sigh.)

Anyway, it was generally a happy Princess Bride afternoon…until the Sasquatch invaded!

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Socks, pants, and pumpkin bread french toast

Mr Grumpy and I had a meeting at 10 this morning.  At 8 he said “let’s go to breakfast” and I said “OK”.

We went to a little diner in town (pumpkin bread French toast-good thing I have a long run tomorrow morning to burn those babies off).

The people in the booth next to us got up to leave and I noticed that the high school aged boy had a sock in his pants. Now I’ll admit that I’m a little naive, but that seemed odd. I turned to Mr Grumpy and asked him about it.

Me: Um, OK. I know where girls put socks, but where do boys put them.

MG: What?

Me: When girls want a little “more” they stick them in their bra. Where do boys put them.

(I should mention here that Mr Grumpy only has a brother and went to an all boy’s school. Girl talk is a little foreign to him. Good thing I went to public high school).

MG: Why?

Me: Because the kid sitting behind you has one in the BACK of his pants.

MG: (blank stare followed by a spin in his seat to see what I’m talking about). I don’t see anything.

Me: LOOK! It’s hanging out the back like a little tail! Oh, never mind he put on his jacket and you missed it.

Figures. That way Mr Grumpy couldn’t see and therefore thought I was nuts (like usual). Seriously though, is this a new fashion thing that I’m missing out on (not that I haven’t had socks stuck to my pants before, but I think that’s a little different) or is he just confused about where socks go? Bizarre!

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There’s a Mouse in the House!

While getting ready for a Halloween session, I thought I saw evidence of a mouse in our basement. They’ve been living comfortably in our garage for years with the understanding that they will NOT enter the house. The little nibbles I saw on the edge of my St. Patrick’s Day hat headband made me wonder, but then I’m pretty lame about putting my things away so it may have been left in the garage where things are fair game. I let it slide and pretty much forgot about it…until last week.

Thursday I was frantically packing for a trip home to Cleveland to help my mom with my grandma when I found Cheerios in my basket of running socks. We’re not talking one or two which may have gotten there by being stuck on my feet when I threw them in the wash or some other bizarre explanation for why a few bits of cereal would be there. We’re talking about several handfulls. I found the box we had in storage and sure enough, there was a good size mouse hole in the side of the bag.

I was in a rush so I called Mr Grumpy to ask him to get some traps on his way home from work. His first response was that it could have been the dog. Cuddles loves Cheerios. She will cry, paw, beg, and do just about anything to get them. This was not her. If it was I would have only found an empty box and not some squirreled away for a rainy day (she’s smart, but not THAT smart). He finally agreed to pick some up and put the traps out.

Sunday, he calls me at my mom’s to ask where he should buy the traps. Ummm…the hardware store would be fine. Or any store for that matter. When I talked to him later he let me know that he got some good sticky ones and we should get the mouse soon. I got home Sunday night and they were still in the box. He stayed home Monday. Still in the box. When I got home from work I announced that they were NOT catching mice in the box and took them downstairs to set them out.

Yesterday I was home sick. The dog was with the groomer when I heard animal screaming from the basement. I sent a text to Mr Grumpy telling him that I think we got the mouse but I was too sick to check (honest, I was…but I would have made him do it anyway). When he got home he went down to check on the traps. He can only find three. I set out four. Somewhere in our basement is a mouse wearing a peanut butter scented sticky trap. Maybe like a hat. Or like carrying a mousy surfboard. I don’t know if I really want to find out!

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Back in the Saddle-or just “in”

So I started this blog well over a year ago with the thoughts of sharing all of the silly and wacky stuff that I see on a daily basis. I’m easily entertained so I’m ALWAYS finding something that makes me laugh. I work with folks who have a lot of bad going on so finding entertainment without copious amounts of alcohol or putting us in to bankruptcy in retail therapy (not that retail therapy doesn’t help, but you know what I mean) is a VERY good thing!

For example, yesterday I was flying home from Cleveland. My flight was delayed but I got there early so I could make it through security without leaping over people to get to the gate on time and to people watch (seriously, it’s the best part of being at the airport). The very nice woman at the United desk saw me sitting at the gate (I was the only person there) and offered to bump me to an earlier flight. Score! While standing at my new gate (with sticky fingers from the frozen yogurt I got when I thought I was going to be sitting for hours) Guy Fieri walked by! Of course I was too shocked to do anything but stand there and pretend I didn’t see him. Luckily everyone around me responded in the same way. I can’t decide if we’re dorks or just polite human beings (I’m hoping for being polite). Either way, I’m pretty sure he appreciated me not shaking his hand with my yogurt covered one!

On the way home from O’Hare, we were listening to Bohemian Rhapsody on the radio. Mr. Grumpy finally laughed when I started singing the Muppet version with the radio. See? Simple silly stuff.

Be on the look out for more posts. There’s plenty of silly to be shared!

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